Enjoying A Pretty Girl Being Free
…So somewhere in the crazy mix of lunacy that is New Orleans, I managed to proclaim my desire to meet 8 women while attending the conference.
I have no idea how the number 8 came about. Why 8? I could see maybe 3 because, well, 3 is a mystical number. Or even 42. But, 8?
Of course, I nowhere got close to connecting with 8 women. (Note the self: never post half asleep and drunk in a dingy hotel in New Orleans).
But, I was able to give a girl the freedom to just be herself…
We went out to a bar. At this bar were a number of “shot girls.” They are very aggressive, these shot girls. They seem to think that all they have to do is press their breasts against you a bit and you’ll be on the quick to buy some ultra sweet shot of low shelf liquor. As one pressed up against me, she looks up at me with her flirty eyes. I tell her “no thanks.” She pouts. I grab her by the hand and start salsa dancing with her. 🙂 A spin here, a spin there, and she is all smiles. She hugs me. And flitters off. She never came back to hassle me for a shot, my buddies on the other hand got the hassle treatment a few more times.
Later that evening, as one shot girl grabbed my ass, I started talking with another who seemed to be a bit down. “So, how’s your night going?” She tells me that its been rough. I could tell by how she said that that she had something more she’d want to express. “How would you like your night to go?” She then started telling me how if she could have her ideal night, she would be at home working in her studio. She aspires to be a recording artist. She sings. She also plays piano. Instantly, her body changed. She was all smiles and her voice with higher and light. “I can tell you are passionate about that.” I shared with her how I used to do music in my own little makeshift studio. I asked her why she is not out performing somewhere. She says what most artists say: “bills.” She also went on to share some fears she has about making those bills, particularly because she is a bartender for the New Orleans Hornets NBA team. With the NBA season in jeopardy because of labor negotiations, she fears she will have a hard time. In that moment, what she needed was to feel a sense of certainty.
I told her that her drive to be a musician is very strong. I told here how she glowed when she spoke of her dream. I told her that in my own life, having those big dreams have always led to something positive and I know that if you stay focused on that dream things do happen.
Her posture and body opened up to me. She smiled large and began to really get pumped up about her dream of being a musician. She could tell that I was not speaking out of my ass, but from my own experience.
She shared a bit more about what she wants to do and for a moment all I did was listen and allow her to build up this vision. Her excitement growing and growing. It was almost like she was “gone” into this other dream world and for the moment forgot all about the lousy shot girl tip night.
How do I know this? She told me so. Then, she said: “You have just fucking made my night! I am so serious! I am so glad I talked to you. Thank you! You are a sweetie!”
“Good luck to you…go make it happen!”
She bounced off with a bit more pep.
One thing I’ve noticed recently is that I seem to be having more and more women feel this freedom to be open around me. In the last week, 3 other women have literally thanked me for being me for the same reasons.
So, I’m not sure what I am doing, other than pursuing what I want in my life, but some women are starting to feel more and more comfortable around me.
Notice I said “SOME” women. The women that are finding themselves able to open up around me are great, but the women I’m most attracted to continue to be closed off.
For instance, after my interaction with this shot girl, I went out and approached a girl that I had seen earlier at the bar. She was STUNNING. And she was there was 3 other girls who were equally STUNNING. I had nothing more to tell her than that…that she is incredibly beautiful.
I told her: “I just saw you inside the bar, and I have to tell you that you are incredibly beautiful.” It was obvious that she hears this all the time. Her reaction was a mild amusement, but she was nice about it. What a difference between the shot girl and this stunning girl. The one all to willing to open up and the other, though incredibly beautiful, all too willing to just move on.
It’s true in retrospect that all I had done was tell her that I found her attractive and did not tell her what I wanted to happen next. But, i just did not feel like doing so because well, I didn’t, for whatever reasons.
The more I’ve gone out seeking connections, the more it seems that those women who have a need to connect do and those who feel they do not have a need to connect, do not. Seems obvious, I know. But, what I’m noticing is that I’m most attracted to women who already feel they have all they need, emotionally. I like the women who crave, not connection, but excitement and fun. I want to experience connection with women who, on the surface, seem not to crave deep connection. I’m in a strange paradoxical space…
Stay tuned…