About Be Powerful
…having completed Be Powerful, I thought it may be helpful if I shared some of my impressions and experiences with this program, particularly if someone is considering taking the program. Now, what follows is my own experience and thus may be radically different than others who have taken the program or will likely be radically different for anyone who takes the program in the future. But, if there is one thing I’ve learned in my time sharing my story here in A.I. it’s that there are quite a bit of similarities amongst the A.I. community (comMENity). And before I go on, I also what to thank the guys in my Be Powerful group. Thanks for sharing your stories. I learned just as much from your struggles than I did from my own! You guys really rock! Thanks!
Also before moving on, here is a quick word of advice…If you are thinking of taking Be Powerful, be sure you are ready to TAKE ACTIONS. In my opinion, Be Powerful works best when you are ready and willing to TAKE ACTIONS!
OK…moving on….
When I began Be Powerful I was already feeling, well, “powerful.” The insights from Get Real and the life changes I experienced where taking hold and I was more real than I had ever been in my life. I had an amazing summer pushing my edge, taking actions, and trying things that I would never have felt confident doing in the past. I felt like I had really started to get a handle on my life, that things were moving in the direction of realizing my One Perfect Day. I felt “with it.”
Then the start of Be Powerful happened. And, within the first few weeks, I found myself once again feeling uncertain about my life and my ability to get all I desire. I actually even felt a small bit of depression creeping back in to my days. I remember feeling confused. I mean here I was going through a program designed to get me to feel powerful and I was feeling more dissatisfied than I had since Get Real. Then, I realized that Be Powerful is about learning how to give myself what I want. But, in order to get to that point, I would have to become mindful of my experience in every moment. Well, when I did this, I could instantly feel and sense just how much the experiences I has having where not inline with my core desires, my wants, and my truth. I felt like I was back at the beginning of a journey that I felt I had already traversed. I felt frustration, sadness.
As I continued through the first weeks of the program, it became quite apparent that what I felt about my life was not only of my own creation, but, more importantly, were deeper messages coming to the surface letting me know that something is not right in my world and that I better take actions to do something about it. In many ways, dissatisfaction seemed to be the name of the game in Be Powerful. That is, for me, the constant reflection on how I want my world to be and the way my world actually is generated dissatisfaction which, then, I would use to work out what it is that I am truly seeking. One example of this is my recent realization and post about becoming thankful for Ex’s . This idea of what it is I am actually seeking, that is, what kind of experience of the world do I desire in the moment, became more and more clear as went along the program. And this is perhaps one of the most profound and useful things I learned: 1. what is it I am truly seeking (hint: it is always a feeling) and 2. how is the way I currently attempt to source that feeling create my current experience of life and 3. how might I change that experience of my life by sourcing that feeling through a different pathway? After the first few weeks of feeling all sorts of dissatisfaction, it was time to answer these questions and workout a plan of action for pursing what I want, the kind of experience I desire, how I want my world to be.
During Be Powerful we were given weekly challenges, each challenge addressing my own unique struggles. For me, a few different struggles came to the surface: being too serious, lacking spontaneity, fear of physical confrontation, and being present and having presence, and feeling connection. Each one of these can only be addressed by taking actions. Without action, there is nothing, no way of working out what works or doesn’t. Be Powerful is very different than Get Real in that Be Powerful is really all about actions and planing for actions that will give me what I want. The actions I have taken to address some these struggles are:
Being too serious – set aside time to do childlike things like flying kites, coloring, or simply just running around.
Lacking spontaneity – taking comedy improv classes
Fear of physical confrontation – sign up for contact sport like Goshin Jitsu (mixed martial arts)
Feeling connection/Being present/having presence – practicing “feeling through” others
This last one here about connection/presence needs a bit more elaboration. The ability to simply be present with others, and even more so with women I find attractive, depends on how “available” I feel. This was an insight that came towards the end of Be Powerful for me. I was challenged to devote a portion of my day to simply connecting with others. I found that particularly hard to do when I had other things on my mind, like work. If I had an issue at work that needed to be taken care of, I would have to take care of that issue first before I could feel available to give people the attention that I, personally, want to give them. But presence is more…
And here we go…presence. The final day of Be Powerful, Leigh very matter of fact told me that he had yet to experience me as a strong, presence, the kind of guy who is standing firm in their truth with a sense of center. After 13 weeks of Be Powerful, of feeling dissatisfaction, of learning how to diagnose my desires and the pathway to sourcing those desires, of taking actions, I still had no presence. I remember in that moment realizing that he was right. I felt frustration. After a bit more conversation with Leigh, I realized a connection between being present and having PRESENCE. I had been looking over all the changes I have gone through, all the actions I have taken, all the inner work of Get Real, all the transformation and imagining that these would magically add up to becoming the guy if my dreams. And while these actions have brought me closer to becoming that guy, there is something more immediate I had not been addressing: the moment. and this one. …and this one…this one too…
Be Powerful is bringing me to a place where I now know what I want and how to go about sourcing what I want. Acceptance and action. Accept what I desire, and take actions to get that experience. My “truth” is not something to be thought of, but something to live. In every moment the question I’ve been asking lately: “Is this the kind of experience of life I want?” If yes, I keep doing what I am doing. If no, I take action to change it. But here is the thing, this is IN THE MOMENT. I will literally be walking down the quad of my university campus, see beautiful girls walking past me, and I will feel a desire to connect with them. For me this means at the very least smiling at them, or simply noticing their experience on their body and face. I know that doing those things gives me an experience of life I desire IN THAT MOMENT, if in fact, I desire that. If they smile back, say “hi,” or just continue walking, does not quite matter, if all I want IN THAT MOMENT is to feel that level of connection. Following my desires, my purpose, the feelings I want my world to be filled with, will naturally give my experience of life more “presence.” But, this is a practice. Being present, living my truth is a practice. Simply standing firm in what I desire in the moment, while difficult right now for me, is not a technique or a trick, it is just me allowing myself to get out of the way of my own desires.
Now that Be Powerful is over, all that remains is practice. I am That Guy. I just have to allow him what he wants. Be Powerful got me to this place…It was and continues to be a powerful experience…
Stay tuned…