Creating Experiences
…a day after feeling powerful at work, a power that was rooted not in fear of things outside of my control but rather a power rooted in allowing myself to live my truth in the moment, I am feeling a new sense of freedom. Again and again, I have taught my classes and read about the distinction between “freedom-from” and “freedom-to.” Freedom-to is the pathway to “freedom-from.” What I experienced yesterday was the feeling of exercising my freedom-to and, through that, was naturally able to gain freedom-from the kinds of experiences I’d rather not have. I asked myself: “what kind of experience do I want?” and I set out to make that happen. I like creating experiences.
I’ve been thinking a lot about about what Taz refers to as an “inner universe”. If you haven’t read his post, do so. My own way of thinking about this “inner universe” is to reflect on the kinds of feelings I want more of in my life. I want to have a life filled with the kinds of experiences I want, all the time. I want to give myself what I want. And, what I want right now is something that I can remember always wanting, even when I was a child.
I want to feel the fulfillment of creating experiences for others. I want to feel the significance of giving others what they need.
This is not the same as wanting to please others. This is about serving others, beckoning others to feel their own freedom. Its about listening to others, feeling through them, and sensing their core desires. Then, putting in the effort to give them what they need.
When I was a child I wanted to be a magician. I idolized David Copperfield. He created experiences for others. His talent was giving people a chance to imagine other worlds, to remember what it is like to believe in more than what is “real.” I wanted to be a magician because I enjoyed the feeling of creating an experience for others.
When I was first started college, I was in a musical project. We were called “Goodrich.” Our style of music was post-rock, ambient, instrumental. We would play shows in local coffeehouses, for a fringe audience. Our sound invited introspection, meditation, and, well, mental wandering. Here is a sample of our style: Goodrich. This was over 10 years ago. The joy of those shows was creating an experience for others, literally opening a space for them to entertain their own freedom of thoughts, feelings. I also felt a sense of connection because musical expression, lacking words, is a sublime communication.
Right now the best experiences of life I have are when I am teaching my classes. I feel a sense of significance, of power, of connection. It takes effort, creativity, and a bit of showmanship to make complex theoretical insights interesting, provocative, and useful to a population that, at this point in most of their lives, have little by way of purpose and a educational history that rarely asked them to question life. And, the in class discussion is always an adventure. Great.
What I notice about all three of these experiences is that 1. I am creating an experience for others. 2. They give me a sense of power and connection. 3. They give me a sense of “significance,” or celebrity, as I am the one making the moment happen. When I think about big dreams, I want to follow those dreams that will give me more of these types of experiences.
Lately I’ve been trying to figure a way to make a lucrative life out of my talents for teaching and my desire for creating experiences for others. The goal is to make a living feeling the way I want and, in doing so, open others to their own freedom. But how to make this into something lucrative?
When I stop to think about these three experiences, I cannot help but notice that there is an element of “celebrity” in each. The yearning for some sense of celebrity is new for me to accept. I desire for some sense of celebrity, for being the “one.” So now the question is how to make my talents into something lucrative and appealing?
So as I work out my big dream, I am constantly reflecting: what can I do that will give me more of the kinds of experiences and feelings I want out of life? The quality of that answer, however, is directly influenced by how skilled I am at giving myself what I want in every moment. Without the experience of fulfilling my purpose in the moment, how else can I know what it is that gives me the experiences and feelings I want in life?
So here we have it: for me, the realization of “big dreams” comes only by exercising my “freedom-to” give myself what I want, in every moment. It’s really wild, but a new sense of freedom is developing for me as an aftereffect of yesterday’s encounter. It is the feeling of living my truth in every moment, which is, at the same time the very source of how I will answer the questions of my inner universe… Hopefully you can imagine how this starting to feel in my life. Basically, every moment and opportunity I live up to my truth, is an answer to one of the most important questions anyone can answer: what is my contribution to world life, where do I rank among well lived lives?
…Talk about making everyday just a bit more significant and my own actions just a bit more adventurous!
BTW, this new feeling is a classic case of an AI Ninja Thwack.