Those Days, You Know The Ones

…you ever have those days? The one’s where life seems to be literally throwing all kinds of things at you with the specific purpose of stopping your forward momentum? All I wanted to do was figure out why I received a text detailing that my “automatic” bill pay for my cell phone is about to “expire.”  Later, some 5 days and 10 attempts to get through an automated system of recorded messages, I was finally able to talk to a real human being at the cell phone company.  It turns out it was just a mistakenly sent message.

All I wanted was to rent a moving truck to help me move my one bedroom apartment.  Turns out every single moving truck company in my area is booked solid for the weekend.  I’ve moved so many times in my lifetime as a career student, and something like this has never been an issue.  Yet, on this, perhaps the last time I’ll move as a student (over 10 years in the making), I simply could not gain the use of a rented moving truck.  To make matters more complicated, I had to move out one day before I was actually able to move in to my new apartment, thus potentially leaving me homeless for one day.  Fortunately, do to some very kind friends and two understanding landlords, I was able to move quite well.

All I wanted was to setup internet service in my new apartment.  Some 5 calls to my internet service provider later, I finally figure out and schedule an installation.  Each time I called, I was given a different “price” for my internet service.  And, each time that I called, I had to reexplain my situation from the very start.

All I wanted was to work through Be Powerful.  But, many attempts later, I am simply unable to log in to my own unique log in for Be Powerful.  I’m the only one having this issue.  All is moving smoothly for all others in the program.

All I wanted was a screwdriver.  I had one just a few hours ago.  Where did it go?  It vanished.  Off to the store to purchase another.

All I wanted was to get my cracked windshield fixed on my car.  They are out of that particular size at the auto-glass repair shop.

All I wanted was to get new tires for my car.  Every shop I went to did not have the size of tire I needed (195/55/15).  Oh, wait, except for one, the one that is the most pricey.

All I wanted was to send out my prospectus to my dissertation committee.  But, my adviser wants me to add one particular person to my committee that, well, I’d rather not.  So, I’m sitting on sending out this prospectus (the first stages of completing my PhD), until I can speak with my adviser who happens to be on vacation this week.

All I wanted was to put up some curtains in my new apartment.  But, of course, the curtain rods I have are too large for my windows.

This is the philosophy of the “All I wanted.”  Want to know one way about what is at the root of this? Simple                               Ever think: It wasn’t what I thought!

All of the above felt like a series of annoyances, a way of life itself challenging my truth.  Part of my truth is to respond to the ambiguity and challenge of the world with poise and humor.  And, to be honest, the series of annoyances above are very amusing and some are down right trivial. Sure, it breaks forward momentum.  Sure, its annoying when they all come crashing down in a three or four short days.  But, come on! Think about all your annoyances, even some of your most difficult issues, that you are sheerly able to stop and think of these…to have the moment to pause and think is itself a gift.

So often, I post on here only to give updates about pursuits of connection with women and friends.  But today is all about the world and free time.   In moments like the one’s above, there is really one one thing to do…one thing that I can only do.  Keep moving.  Just keep moving, then laugh, then move.  Laugh and act.  Interesting that Acceptance and Action seem to be like laughing and acting.  I remember walking down the hallways of my undergraduate university talking with Dr. Corey Anton.  I remember laughing spontaneously when I suddenly understood some idea we had been discussing.  He said: “Well, yeah, laughing is a sign of the divine.  Hard won insight is a mystical thing.”  So I’m sharing this because, well, I’m certain I’m not the only one who, in the moment of one of these kinds of days, feels like “shit” is out to get you.

I want to be clear: I am not complaining or listing grievances for the purpose of “venting.”  Rather, I just want to let anyone else who may be having one of those days or even one of those weeks know that it just is what it is.  I laugh and keep pushing through, that has worked for me.  When I stop to think why, it is because I have all the confidence in the world that my life is completely and entirely as it should be.  I have power and am currently working hard on cultivating connections…when I finally reached this point after many years of forgetting this essential pathway, a huge burden was lifted.

The burden of this week, in the past, I would’ve felt like the “world” was out to get me, that my life was simply cursed or something.

Today, I laugh, I deal, I move on living my truth relentlessly.